And this is happening because people "get so blinded in these custody and divorce cases that they absolutely lose their minds," said one divorce attorney, as Tolson reports. But getting "blinded" in family law cases is essentially the antithesis of mediation, a process which strives to deal with emotion in a more constructive way.
]]> After all, spying isn't just a symptom of losing yourself to emotion. It's an act that can open you up to a civil lawsuit for invasion of privacy, which some ex-spouses or ex-partners are winning. So it makes sense to consider the alternative of divorce mediation, where both spouses come to the table agreeing to disagree, so to speak, but willing to try to come to an out-of-court settlement that will work for both of them.A main theme in Tolson's report is the battle of emotion versus reason. In divorce and family law, emotion tends to win out over reason. But the problem is that emotion is much more expensive than reason. Emotion wants to see people duke it out in the courtroom, whereas reason wants to see people cut their losses and agree to settle in a conference room.
Source: Spy gadgets infiltrate divorces as domestic snooping booms
]]>Divorce auctions seem ripped out of a divorce mediator's playbook. In divorce mediation, the couple comes to the table prepared to hash out their differences in an amicable manner, so that an agreement can be reached without the expense and stress and hassle of the courtroom.
]]> And what better way to prevent a knock-down fight than to agree to let all your stuff head off for auction?As Heckel writes, there are two types of scenarios fit for the divorce auction: the divorcing couple has a love-it relationship with their stuff, and cannot decide who gets the dining room table, the chairs, the TV.
This is a common scenario in divorce and family law cases.
The other scenario is where the couple "longs for a completely new slate," auctioning off all (or most) of their stuff and splitting the take.
And, as Heckel reports, sometimes even a judge might order divorcing couples to send their stuff off to the auction, in situations where the fight has gone on long enough.
Source: Some divorcing couples auction everything off and divide the cash
]]>Michelle and Luke Belkin had sorted out their marriage and come up with a parenting plan that worked for them and their five children.
]]> Eventually, Luke remarried and Michelle became romantically-involved with someone else. Michelle and her significant other had a son. Michelle wanted her son to have a good relationship with his half-siblings, so she and her ex-husband Luke worked out a parenting plan that included her biological child spending time with Luke and his new wife. Even though Luke was not the small boy's biological father, the child admired Luke.But one tragic day Michelle lost three of her five children when the plane Luke piloted crashed and killed everyone on board.
Enter the unusual custody battle, when Luke's wife petitioned the court for custody of Michelle's son.
Even though she is not the boy's biological mother, she feels that the boy should live with her - she'd developed a strong relationship and bond with Michelle's son.
Custody proceedings can be difficult for everyone involved. When children are involved in court cases, the emotional roller coaster can be overwhelming. Parents love their children and want what is best for them, but often in the midst of the process it's difficult for both parties to look past their personal feelings for the other parent and see what is in the best interest of the child.
As a parent, it's important to ensure that your child has the involvement, love and support they need to become healthy adults. The support and love parents offer is irreplaceable. Even though the road may not be easy, in the end, putting the child's best interest at the heart of a custody arrangement is well worth the effort.
Source: Mpls. custody fight pits women who grieved over Wyo. plane crash
]]>The analyst preparing the analysis will obviously need to access a wide range of records, and the work will be extensive and time-consuming, but the work often results in a valuable tool to use in equitable distribution.
Sometimes it even helps to uncover the location of hidden assets.
In one such case, an analyst discovered that a husband was regularly transferring funds to an offshore account - an account he had not disclosed. By tracking how much money had been taken out, the wife convinced the court to give her a share of those transferred funds.
Source: Why a Lifestyle Analysis Is So Critically Important For Divorcing Women
]]>Emotional abuse can have a lasting impact on those involved; it could extend well beyond the immediate period in which it takes place. Feelings of self-doubt or depression can occur as a result. An individual who suffers this type of mistreatment can start to lose some of their sense of self. When this happens to a person, they fail to recognize things that are good in themselves and even other people.
Emotional abuse is not something that is as easily recognizable as a black eye, but being aware of the potential negative impact of seemingly innocuous actions can go a long way in preventing or stopping emotional abuse. Both parties can take steps to prevent and avoid abuse if they know how to recognize it.
Source: Emotional Abuse: Most Common Type of Domestic Violence
]]>Many couples stay together through the holidays because of family. They may do this either because they want to give it one last chance during what is a generally happy time, or because they simply do not want to spoil the holidays for friends and family with unpleasant news. Many people feel this is the best and most logical answer for delaying divorce until after the New Year.
Money is a major issue in many divorce cases. When it comes to taxes - and the tax deadline is coming up now - a couple's marital status as of December 31 will dictate whether they can file their taxes jointly as a married couple or if they will do so individually. Many people expect some amount of money from their tax return and do not want to go through the stress and financial loss of filing taxes as an individual after a divorce - though what actually happens depends on the person's individual circumstances.
Divorce is a common occurrence throughout the year, but the convergence of both emotional and financial concerns leads to the increase of divorce filings attorneys see in the early part of the year, culminating in March.
]]>Under New York law, the court will determine the necessity for maintenance, otherwise known as alimony, during the divorce process. While a formula is used to determine what will be owed, the final award is ultimately determined by the court.
]]> When it comes to child support, the court will use a specific formula that involves the parents' income and can include additional money for child care, education and medical expenses.Under the Internal Revenue Code, alimony is tax-deductible for the person who pays, and alimony must be claimed as income for the person who receives it. Alimony is only tax-deductible once the parties either make an official agreement, such as a written separation agreement, official decree of divorce or any other court order. If a spouse makes voluntary payments to their former partner, they are not tax-deductible.
Child support, on the other hand, is not tax-deductible for the parent who pays and is not to be claimed as income for the child, or by the parent who receives the payments on behalf of the child. It is important to note that for tax purposes, the IRS will categorize late payments to a spouse for either alimony or child support as child support first. Thus, even if the payee intends for it to go towards alimony, it will not be considered tax-deductable until the amount of money owed for lingering child support payments is met.
Thus, in addition to other considerations, divorcing couples in New York will want to understand the tax implications of both child support and alimony payments - which can be complex. Consult with an experienced family law attorney for help answering your questions.
]]>Though he is not representing any of the parties in the case, Long Island divorce attorney Bryan Salamone said that a mother who plans on not following a family law judge's order could face contempt and a host of repercussions.
But this particular mother seems willing to suffer the consequences for her children.
]]> 54-year-old Amy Margolis is refusing to send her kids - a 15-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son - to her spouse for visitation, as the family law judge has ordered.As Crowley and Oliveira Jr. report, Margolis refuses to send her kids because of a "knock-down fight" that happened between her spouse and her spouse's fiancée.
The kids witnessed this fight.
In a letter to the Nassau County judge, her 15-year-old daughter wrote, "She [the fiancée] got up and said he pushed her onto the floor." The daughter also wrote that about "claw marks" on her father's neck.
Suffice it to say that evidence of domestic violence in the home can impact the outcome of child custody and visitation proceedings.
"They should not be thrust back into a situation that violent and verbally abusive without some sort of remedy," Margolis said, referring to her children. "It they're going to take away my right to protect my children, I'm going to fight back."
But, as Salamone says, fighting back could come with a host of consequences for Margolis, including losing child visitation herself and even possible time behind bars.
As for the husband, he says, "You've got to be kidding me. The woman is on her sixth attorney and has been pursuing vengeance for nearly six years."
Source: New York Post, "Ma Defies 'Jail,'" by Kieran Crowley and Pedro Oliveira Jr., 2/21/12
]]>One of the attendees at the panel discussion asked how the New York law could impact other state laws. In his response, Cuomo stated that marriage equality was "just a matter of time." When asked whether the arguments made against the enactment of the law were persuasive, Cuomo answered, "Ultimately, there was no answer by the opposition...There isn't. There really isn't. And as soon as you ask the question and you probe the answer, the only answer is, 'I want to discriminate against gay people.' And that is anti-New York. It's also anti-American."
Cuomo's comments have angered many groups, including New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms, which is a group made up of evangelical Protestants who oppose the law. In an open letter to Cuomo, the group demanded an apology for the Americans and New Yorkers who oppose the bill who they say were offended by his comments.
So far, Cuomo has not responded to the group's demand for an apology.
]]>In other words, if you get married in New York, your marriage will not be recognized as valid in a state that formally bans recognition of same-sex marriages performed out-of-state. The authors cite Virginia as an example of one state that would not recognize your marriage.
Similarly, Virginia would not enforce the provisions of a divorce decree coming out of a same-sex relationship, either.
]]> What this means, Tolchinsky and Wertheim write, is that you're going to have to be mindful, more than ever, of both the federal and state treatment of family law when it comes to same-sex divorce cases.Here's one example:
Under federal law, a spouse in a same-sex marriage who gets health insurance through her spouse's employer has to pay income tax on it.
Source: New York Law Journal, "Creative Parenting Agreements Still Needed With Same-Sex Marriage," by Abby Tolchinsky and Ellie Wertheim, 08/29/11
]]>As Long Island divorce lawyers, all we know is that the new no-fault divorce law provides a needed route for clients who wish to get divorced without the headache of having to prove something like adultery.
]]> As Sichko reports, one divorce lawyer said, "The issue of providing grounds resulted in substantial, unnecessary counsel fees. The game has changed so substantially."And another lawyer said, "The focus is on the meat and potatoes: financials, assets, custody."
No-fault divorce, of course, is not a synonym for "quickie divorce," as if the new law reduces or eliminates the complexity of the issues that need to be resolved. It doesn't. What the new law does do, however, is allow married couples who want to get divorced to get divorced.
The state of New York was the last state in the nation to pass a no-fault divorce law, according to Sichko. It should be a little while yet for the dust to settle before we can look back and see the full impact of no-fault on divorce and family law.
Source: The Business Review, "Divorce filings up 12% since NY passed no-fault law," by Adam Sichko, 06/10/11
]]>Poll representative Lee Miringoff says, "I think that clearly the numbers now don't reflect the depth of the controversy of the last few months. It's still controversial, of course, but there is a much clearer sense across the regions that this is something people support and they don't want to undo anything or turn the page back."
Miringoff refers to the numbers. As Gormley reports, the "strongest opponents" are divided almost evenly: 48 percent to 47 percent in favor of overturning the law, and 71 percent of voters would attend the same-sex marriage of a friend or family member (almost seven in 10 Republicans).
Miringoff added, "There is also the sense that this is done now, let's move on."
Source: Long Island Press, "Poll: Opposition to NY Gay Marriage Law Softening," by Michael Gormley, 08/11/11
]]>And what will the divorce rates look like for same-sex couples? Generally, all the same family law issues now apply equally to married same-sex couples: spousal support, child custody, divorce.
]]> New York's recognition of same-sex marriage means that married same-sex couples are to be treated like married opposite-sex couples - though there are things to be ironed out, like whether private employers will be required to provide health insurance benefits to the employee's spouse - but the end result should be a shortening of differences between the way same-sex couples are treated under the law versus the way opposite-sex couples are treated.Douthat writes that same-sex couples will "determine the social expectations associated with gay wedlock, the gay marriage and divorce rates, the differences and similarities between gay and lesbian unions, the way marriage interacts with gay parenting, and much more besides."
As New York and Long Island divorce attorneys, we are particularly interested in seeing where the law goes and how it responds when same-sex couples take the institution of marriage "from an idea into a culture," as Douthat writes.
Our prediction? Same-sex marriage will cause relatively minor changes in substantive family law, at least in the short term, as legislatures in the six states that have legalized same-sex marriage wait to see how things play out.
But for individual same-sex couples, the new law is a positive step forward in providing the same rights, responsibilities and protections that opposite-sex couples enjoy - and, given that same-sex couples are every bit as human as opposite-sex couples, we predict that divorce rates for same-sex couples will be quite similar to the norm.
Source: The New York Times, "More Perfect Unions," by Ross Douthat, 07/03/11
]]>As Bernd Debusmann of Reuters reports, Kim said, "My original prediction was that children of divorce would experience negative impacts even before formal divorce processes began. But my study finds that this is not the case."
]]> Kim is a Ph.D. candidate in sociology and published his study in the American Sociological Review. The study tracked 3,585 children. Starting at kindergarten and ending at the fifth grade, Kim looked at progress in math and social skills for children in stable families and compared that to those children whose parents went through divorce.As it happens, math skills were hit hardest. Kim said, "Reading is not that cumulative. But with math, you must understand previous things to develop. For example, if I do not understand that one plus one is two, then I cannot understand multiplication."
Kim goes on to list several factors that may impact a child's development (which look familiar to New York divorce lawyers like us):
When it comes to divorce, Kim's study certainly points toward one thing: that divorce is not easy on kids - especially once formal proceedings begin - so it makes sense to keep the child's best interests in mind throughout the process.
Source: Reuters, "Children of divorce score worse in math, social skills," by Bernd Debusmann, Jr., 06/02/11
]]>Source: The 10 Plagues of Divorce
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